Philosophies of the Homestar Runner
by WillStarr
Summary: What is up with the Strong Brothers? What is the relationship with Homsar and Homestar? These questions and more answered.
1. The Strong Brothers

Theories of HomestarRunner.com  
  
  
  
Theory number one:  
  
  
The Strong brothers;  
  
Strong Mad,  
  
Strong Bad,  
  
and Strong Sad.  
  
  
  
I first took a strong notice, pardon the pun, to Homestar Runner a few weeks ago. Since then, I have found every hidden thing, from Homsar to extra games, but the one thing that surprised me the most was a little something I found on Strong Sad's webpage.  
  
I had clicked on his profile out of curiosity, only to find that it gave me a popup which had a self description of himself. What got my attention was that he said under the "friends" category. It was "none." This wouldn't have interested me in the slightest if I had not noticed that it was a link. I clicked the "none" link, only to find that it led me to a secret site. This site was a site which was a shoe box underneath what appeared to be Strong Sad's bed that read "Fond Memories."  
  
The first major thing in the box was a red card with a poorly drawn Strong Bad head with the words "Happy Birthday" underneath it. The inside of the card read something along the lines of this:  
  
"Mom said I had to make this card. Guess what, stupid, I'm going to push you."  
  
This seemed like something a young Strong Bad would do. I then clicked on a reel of film, only to get a popup on the screen.  
  
It was an old style movie that showed a younger Strong Sad waving at the screen. You could tell it was fall due to the fact that Strong Sad was wearing a scarf and hat, and there were piles of leaves in the background. Suddenly, from one of the piles of leaves came a younger version of Strong Bad. He then proceeded to tackle Strong Sad and start giving him a noogie with a smile on his face. At first, Strong Sad appears sad, but then gets a contented look on his face. The movie then ended.  
  
This leads me to believe that when they were young, they actually acted like brothers, and this was proven once I clicked on another thing in the box which was an overturned picture frame. In the picture frame there was a picture of Strong Bad and Strong Sad smiling at the camera, Strong Bad's arm around Strong Sad.   
  
Now this leads me to some hard questions. Like why do they hate each other so much now? Why is Strong Sad so depressed now when back then he was happy? What made Strong Bad so bad? And one must also take into consideration Strong Mad. Where was he? What gave him that speech impediment? I shall try to answer these now.  
  
A long while ago, there was a man named David Strong, but, for some reason, everyone called him Strong. Eventually he met a woman named Gladys and fell in love with her. They soon got married, and people started calling Gladys "Strong Glad." Soon afterward, they had a child. A baby girl who they named Fabiola in honor of Strong Glad's grandmother. When Strong's friends heard about the child, Strong's nickname changed and he became "Strong Dad." His friends then, being cheeky, decided to give a nickname to the Strongs' daughter. "Strong Fad" was soon decided and the name stuck.   
  
Two years later, Strong Dad and Strong Glad had another child. He was born prematurely but survived none the less. The parents then named their first son Matthew and Strong Fad immediately liked him. Again, though, Strong Dad's friends decided to play their name game. Matthew soon became Strong Mad.  
  
The next year, another son was born. The Strong parents had a pretty good idea what was going to happen to their child's name, so they named him Bartholemew. The name Strong Bad was soon born.  
  
Finally, two years later, Strong Glad had another child. Unfortunately, this would be her last. The child had ended up growing in the fallopian tube, causing her to become unable to perform childbirth any more. After a long and complicated cesarian section, Strong Dad and Strong Glad's child was born. They named him Thadeus, but, due to Strong Dad's friend's stupidity, his name was soon changed to Strong Sad.  
  
The four Strong children grew up normally, but, strangely, they started to take on the qualities of their nicknames. Strong Fad always was in the best of fashion, Strong Mad had a slight temper problem, Strong Bad was a trickster, and Strong Sad had a penchant for songs in Minor keys and Edgar Allen Poe.Strong Fad even once created a "one size fits all" mask for Strong Bad and he became entranced by it and swore that he would never take it off. But beyond this, the children were normal. Strong Bad never did anything horrible, Strong Mad never hurt anyone, and Strong Sad always had a cheerful lookout on life.   
  
Until Strong Fad became a heroin addict in her Senior year of high school. She started stealing money from Strong Glad's purse, taking Strong Sad's allergy medicine and selling it. This went on for around two months until Strong Dad and Strong Glad couldn't take in any more. They sent Strong Fad to a rehabilitation center, only to find out later that she had ran away from it to live on her own.  
  
The Strong Brothers were devastated by this.  
  
Strong Mad started working out at impossible rates to get over the grief while Strong Sad started studying at the same rate. There wasn't one time when you didn't see Strong Mad without a weight or Strong Sad without a textbook during this time.   
  
Strong Bad took it the hardest though since he and his sister were the closest out of all of them. His grades started dropping rapidly, his pranks got less and less playful, all the while getting more and more hurtful, and he started making fun of everything he saw.  
  
But the thing that really affected the Strong Brothers was the loss of their parents in a car crash when Strong Mad was in his senior year. After that happened, Strong Mad went into a fit of anger and gave himself a concussion while hitting things. He ended up suffering a severe amount of brain damage. Strong Bad ended up dropping out of school completely and started stealing things from the mall. He ended up getting arrested a couple times. Strong Sad ended up developing Bipolar Disorder and tried to commit suicide many times, only to be stopped by Strong Bad.   
  
After a while, Strong Fad came back. She was incredibly skinny and horrible looking and apparently was trying with all of her might to overcome her addiction. When she heard about her parents' death though, she became stricken with grief and started doing more hardcore drugs like LSD. Strong Bad and Strong Sad ended up talking some sense into her and she soon realized that she needed help and committed herself to a Rehabilitation Center.  
  
The Brothers Strong eventually realized that in order to get a better grasp on reality they needed to move away from their home town so they moved to a little town in the middle of no where that was far away from where they used to live.   
  
Strong Bad tried to be his old self while there, but no one seemed to appreciate him. So, in an attempt to become popular, he started beating his little brother Strong Sad up on a regular basis.   
  
Strong Mad found a friend who could stand to be around him and stood up for him when he needed it. Sure, his friend was a little animal, but it was extremely intelligent and could help Strong Mad when he needed it.  
  
Finally, Strong Sad ended up becoming the least popular in the town next to the self appointed King, and was only friends with a strange short person who was less intelligible in his thought process than Strong Mad, and a hippie girl that seemed to be the exact opposite of Strong Bad.  
  
I know that this probably isn't what the creators of Homestarrunner.com had in mind, but it does give a really good explanatory theory behind the Strong Brothers.  
  
Will Starr 


	2. Homestar,Homsar,andHomeschool?

Philosophies of a Homestar Runner  
  
Part Two:  
  
  
  
Homestar Runner,   
  
Homeschool Winner,   
  
and Homsar  
  
  
  
Everyone knows about Homestar Runner. After all, he appears everywhere on the site and is in every toon! The same goes almost all the way for everyone's favorite ladies' man Homsar, even though half of the people at my school I've talked to don't know him. But only hardcore fans of the site know about Homeschool Winner.  
  
Homeschool's only appeared a couple of times on the site, but never appeared in any toons. However, the only place where he is on the site that doesn't require mild hacking skills in in the game "Dancin' Bubs."  
  
This game, my friends, is ancient. It's been there ever since Bubs was introduced, almost! The main point of the game is to have fun and make the blue skinned man dance his freaky dances in places from a dance hall to even, the pun is probably intended, on top a grave that reads "Your Grave."  
  
When I first played this "game" I noticed in the first background two characters that aren't in any other toons. One was a stange looking girl with a medal on. I guessed she was someone who was a reject character, as with the tall pale guy with the white comma on his blue shirt.  
  
Then it hit me.  
  
The guy in the blue comma shirt looked a lot like Homestar. Minus the fact that, unlike Homestar's enormous underbite, he had an enourmous overbite, more than that of Simpson characters!  
  
So I did some research and, lo and behold, this Homestar lookalike had a name: Homeschool Winner. Apparently this guy, unlike the freakish medal girl, had evolved with the site for a short period of time until around "The Search for the Mellow Dellow."   
  
Yes, Homeschool's first appearance was in Dancin' Bubs, but in the very first character page, he was featured. The first character page was just trading cards of all of the characters at that time, including Homeschool and the Mumbies, whatever they were.  
  
On fansites people started giving Homeschool personalities, ages, and even short bios, concluding that Homeschool was he was Homestar's little brother... Well, not little, per say, since on every site I've gone to Homeschool's been around five inches taller than Homestar. Also, unfortunately, in an interview with the Brothers Chaps, the creators of the site, we find out that Homeschool is nothing but a joke. Then again, isn't Homsar?  
  
But enough background information, on to the theory, shall we?  
  
I'm not going to go in depth with the family tree like I did last time, so I'm just going to say that there was this guy who's last name was Home, he met this girl, and he had this kid.  
  
They named this kid William T. Home, and he was a really intelligent person. In fact, he was so intelligent that he actually took the SATs at age 5 and passed. Unfortunately, his parents started taking advantage of his unusually high IQ, so he figured out a way to make them leave him alone: He played dumb. And not just dumb, but he faked a concussion and started failing all of his tests just to make people treat him normally. He even created his own language that sounded like complete nonsence but was actually complex theories and sentances.  
  
The next child that the two had was named Peter H. Home who was born six years after William. He, unlike his brother, seemed to veer more towards athletics since he gained his father's build and height. In fact, he was so athletically oriented that he focused mainly on that instead of academics. His older brother didn't really like this very much so William unsuccessfully tried many times to teach his little brother, but Peter just didn't get it. Is spite of this, Peter respected William for his intelligence and kept his secret safe.  
  
The two parents then suddenly had another child five years later who they named Andrew E. Home. He ended up having a problem with his growth hormone gland and, during puberty, grew to be seven foot eight inches tall before the condition was subdued.   
  
Unfortunately for the three brothers, their parents suddenly left them once Andrew was in High School. To top it all off, the poor Andrew was shunned by all of his peers for being so tall and was constantly beaten up.  
  
Enraged by this, Peter took his brother out of high school and had William home school him. Now, an important detail that I left out was that, during his High School career, Peter's observant friends noted that he was the star of the track team and that his last name was Home. Thus, Homestar Runner was born. Homestar's older brother ended up getting a hurtful name since he was "stupid" and was anything but athletic, yet he still looked like Homestar. Homsar became his name. Both of the names ended up sticking since both of them liked the names, but when Andrew entered high school, left, and then became homeschooled, his brothers then, being brothers, named him Homeschool Winner as a tribute to this fact.  
  
Now, you may be wondering why we don't see Homeschool that much. This I can explain in a different and easier way.  
  
Homestar is extremely protective of his brother. He may not be bright, but since he's basically raising his brother, his brother got beaten up in high school, and when you add in the fact that he loves his brother like any brother should, you can see that Homestar is scared of how his friends would react to seeing his brother. And by friends I mean people like Strong Bad.  
  
Of course, now Homeschool would be around sixteen or something like that, otherwise a junior in high school, Homestar would be around twenty one, and Homsar would be around twenty seven. This fits with the cartoons also because it seems like everyone is out of school. Now, you may be wondering, "If this is true, then why is Homestar and a lot of the others on a high school team?" and I can answer you by explaining that that isn't really high school, that it's just a community thing. It's something that all of the younger people like Strong Sad, Homestar, and Pom-Pom do in their spare time. And, of course, Coach Z is their coach. Now, if you asked me what they were playing... Then I wouldn't be able to answer you. The only thing I can tell you is that it involves a ball, running, tackling, and isn't football or rugby. Whatever.  
  
Anyway, that is basically it. The next Homestar Theory will be on that of having no arms yet still having the ability to pick up stuff. Thank you and good night. You may all leave. Except for you. 


End file.
